


Make Katy Perry Proud

by CAPSING



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, Fireworks, M/M, No Other Gruesome Warnings For Once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 06:55:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2572265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CAPSING/pseuds/CAPSING
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If anime taught Wade anything, it's that fireworks make the most romantic atmosphere for a First Kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Katy Perry Proud

**Author's Note:**

> For optimusvevo who stayed at home with their dog due to fireworks.

Wade Wilson has been called many names - some more accurate than others, some slightly offensive, and there was this one time with Bob and too many beers that ended up with Bob crying on his shoulder, insisting he’s a ‘Priscilla’ who had to give Bob another chance.

 

Today, though, he rather think of himself as The Man With The Plan.

It’s foolproof. Bullet proof and fire proof, too (just to be on the safe side).

He nods to himself, smiling brightly at the wooden crates before him.

“I know what to do to get Senpai to notice me!”

*

The plan is going smoothly.

He breathes in a lungful of dust, and some rubble hits various parts of himself, but ‘tis but a scratch.

 

“What the heck, Deadpool!” Spider-Man glides gracefully through the air, obviously surprised.

Wade’s sure he’s beaming with delight under his mask.

He ~~coughs~~ manfully clears his throat.

“Wait! You haven’t seen the best part yet!”

“Don't, Deadpo –“

 

Whatever praise Spider-Man had for the bright, colourful sight before them is drowned under a thunderous explosion.

The night is sparkling in a dazzling cerulean, flames shining as if filled with precious sapphires. Moments after, a secondary explosion follows – mixing vibrant red into New-York's skyline, painting the clouds of smoke in deep, warm crimson.

There’s romance in the air.

 **It sort of smells like farts** , one of the boxes comments.

 _It got the job done_ , the other counters. _And besides, the methane was half-price_.

“It was so much better than those caravans!” Wade joins in, happy with himself, and doesn't notice as Spider-Man leaps out of nowhere to deliver a harsh kick to his unguarded wrist. 

The plastic cracks against the concrete – but doesn't break.

Not until Spider-Man slams his boot down and smashes the detonator into bits.

 

“Hey, that’s uncalled for!” Wade protests, rubbing his wrist, pouting. “That one held sentimental value!”

“Oh, I’m sorry”, Spider-Man says (but Wade suspects he’s being sarcastic), “was I interrupting you to create happy memories while you were blowing half of downtown?!”

“Yes, actually.”

 

Spider-Man makes a weird noise.

“Deadpool –“

**Ask him!**

“Right! Did you like it?” He asks, shaking his right wrist.

“Which part? The property damage or the irreversible damage to my hearing?” Spider-Man folds his arms against his chest – Wade read once in a book that’s a defensive posture.

_Better than an offensive one!_

“True that! No, Spidey – the fireworks! They were your favorite colours, weren't they!”

Red and Blue had to be his favorites – unless - Spider-Man was secretly colour-blind?!

 **We haven’t thought of that!** The box says, panicked.

 _Even though we just saw Daredevil the other day!_ The other box groans in dismay.                                

“I’m not colour blind, Deadpool.” Spider-Man answers dryly when he asks, calming his racing heart.

“I just don’t take to endangering people’s lives too well.”

“No one’s perfect,” Wade assures him.

“I’m going to web you up now.”

 

Wade frowns. He pulls out the paper from his back pocket, inspecting it carefully.

“No, Spidey, that’s not in the plan. Here, look –“ he closes the short distance between them, “– it says right here –“ he points with his index finger, shoving the paper in front of Spider-Man’s face so he could read – “Step 148 – Everything turns out wonderfully! Spider-Man loves the fireworks, leading to a magical romantic atmosphere in which he passionately kisses De –“

*

Wade holds a bag of frozen peas against his nose, staring up at the cell’s filthy ceiling.

The two other men who share this temporary accommodation with him twitch under his boots.

(Wade has been called many names. He reacts rather violently to a few.)

“Oh!” he jolts up as a stray thought surfaces, swirling as it collects random musings and incomplete ideas.

“New plan!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> For accuracy's sake: methane is odorless. But it was a fart joke and I took it.
> 
> Personally -  
> I REALLY HATE FIREWORKS.  
> THIS IS LITERALLY BURNING MONEY. THEY ARE AWFUL FOR PEOPLE WHO SUFFER FROM PTSD. THEY ARE AWFUL FOR DOGS.  
> THERE ARE ENOUGH BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD TO LOOK AT. 
> 
> WANT TO LOOK AT SOMETHING SHINY IN THE SKY?  
> TRY THE MOON AND THE STARS.


End file.
